And in This Corner … F.E.A.R.
Determination, Inspirations and Transformation are within us! The challenges we face is we allow to be buried under all the negative excuses. All the excuses and beliefs we have fabricate over the years. It is hard to find strength within ourselves when we feel so emotionally thrashed. We create these limitations for ourselves, and to top it off, we create the fear that keeps us from excelling past them.
Fear has its place in our lives. It is an instinct meant to keep us safe. It is the basis for fight or flight reactions. Then there is the fear we create to keep our emotions and egos safe. This is F.E.A.R (Forget Everything And Run). It is the fear that is created within us, which makes us afraid to love, afraid of failure, afraid of success, afraid of being rejected, and, afraid of just being ourselves.
When we create these fearful emotions most likely we are basing the fear on past events. opinions or something fabricated in our head. These are the fears that keep us “emotionally safe” – safe from getting hurt again. Remember, our feelings are based on either pain or pleasure. If we know something is going to cause us physical or emotional pain, then we are going to avoid it at all cost.
There are so many people who would like to change their lives but feel stuck. The fear of deciding to change stops them in their tracks. So, they stay where they feel safe even when they know they are not happy.
We would rather cling onto what is familiar and safe than chance a fear becoming real. We tend to clench up, fold our arms, back away, give an excuse, or alternatively we create a “real” reason as to why we have to run from the unknown.
Fear can take over our lives. It can keep us from having the relationship of our dreams just because we are afraid that “all” of our relationships will end in a breakup or a divorce.
Fear can create a nervous disorder, phobias and even paranoia. I know a family that experienced one of the small earthquakes in California. To this day they sleep by the door on the floor instead of upstairs in their bedrooms.
Fear can become debilitating. It can also cause loss of opportunities and create regret. When fear becomes the stronger emotion, we must stop and ask ourselves, “Is there a real danger?” Why are we Fearful (Full of Fear)? What experiences from our past or in our present lives have caused us to feel this way?
I gave a goal setting seminar to a company in San Diego. After two days of my workshop, I had a gentleman approach me with his story about fear. He shared with me that during the companies weekly meeting he would have suggestions to improve the sales of their company’s product. However, he was too fearful to speak up with his ideas. He went on to tell me that within a meeting or two, someone else would inevitably come up with the same idea, which would then be implemented into their sales force.
He watched over time as others advanced within the company because of the same ideas he had been too afraid to voice.
I asked him why he let his fear hold him back. He obviously had the experience and knowledge to advance his career.
He went on to tell me that he was afraid that his ideas were stupid, and everyone would look at him as if he were an idiot. I asked him if he thought the other people who expressed the same idea were idiots. He laughed and said, “No.” I asked, “Then why would you think they would think that about yourself?” He replied, “I don’t know.”
I asked him how he felt about his ideas. He told me he thought they were solid, productive ideas. “Then why do you think your colleagues would think your ideas are stupid, when time and time again you have seen otherwise?” He finally said to me, “I guess because when I ran these ideas by my wife, she thought they were stupid and told me that nobody would ever listen to me.”
I thought to myself in a sarcastic tone, “What an inspiring spouse” I looked him in the eyes and said firmly “Just because someone has an opinion of what they think will or will not work does not mean they’re right.” I could see a combination of realization and then sadness come over his face. I suggested he write down his idea for the next meeting and email it to whom would be interested in his suggestions. I said, “What’s the worst-case scenario?” It may not be the right timing for his suggestion; however, I cannot imagine anyone calling you stupid.
The fear he felt was not a matter of what his colleagues thought, it was the fact he did not feel secure about himself based on his wife’s opinion. He was afraid to speak up during a meeting as he thought others would judge his ideas, the same way his wife judged him.
So next time F.E.A.R surfaces in your thoughts...
Forget Everything And RISE!!!
Do not miss out on opportunities.
Do Not Allow Other’s Opinions to Become
YOUR Reality!! – Coach Mikki